5 Whacky Investment Ideas That Promise Great Returns

By | April 8, 2015

There are investments and then there are smart investments. Bare minimum input and mind-blowing returns for the rest of your life-who wouldn’t want that right? Well, we hate to break it to you, but that isn’t really a smart investment-that is a ‘Geenie-grant-me-a-wish’ level dream scenario. But we are in India- a land of jugaad. So here are some tongue-in-cheek suggestions of offbeat investments and their outlandish rewards-to be taken with a pinch of humour.

1) Invest in a spotless white khaadi kurta


Image Source: India-forums

Become a neta and reap rewards of a politician’s riches. In any other place, people would expect educational qualifications, experience and common sense in their leaders. But we Indians don’t have any such expectations. Don a kurta, maybe add a Nehru jacket and a Gandhi topi and voila-you are ready to enter the world of politics.

2) Invest in a cricket channel subscription and some cricket coaching classes


Image Source: TimesNow

Buy those sports packs people. They may be too expensive on the face, but do it. Watch a lot cricket matches and attend a basic cricket 101 coaching class. And voila-you are now a cricket expert. You will be invited to nightly news debates with overzealous anchors and asked about your opinions on Indian cricketers’ performances.

3) Invest in some hair care, saffron clothes and followers


Image Source: TOI

Yup. You need to grow out your hair, put on those saffron robes, wear those malaas, smear on that tika and most importantly, get some followers. Congrats-you are now a Baba. You can now organize sermon sessions and give endless gyaan to unsuspecting junta and you will be showered with secret riches.

4) Invest in a good Internet connection


Image Source: TVF

This one’s the best. Also make sure you download Torrent. Now the possibilities are just endless. You can become a talented writer or music director who has Bollywood producers lining up to sign you for their next big project with Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif.

5) Invest in a hi-fi DSLR

DSLR meme

Image Source: Quickmeme

That’s it. You are now a pro-photographer. It really helps if you have an engineering degree, it just adds a lot of credibility. Now click photos of flowers, benches and the sky. Don’t forget to add a watermark to all your photos and create a photography page on Facebook. Then invite your friends to like it and start accepting innocent requests for wedding/baby photography.

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Category: Funny Money

About Sonal Bhadoria

An accidental engineer who went from designing car parts to writing within a woefully short span of time. Has spent nearly 3 years in the digital news media muddle, where everything from tackling Modi trolls to analyzing the Wimbledon grass was attempted at. Seriously believes online reading is a legitimate hobby for which annual awards should be handed out. Also spends way too much time on the internet.

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