Weddings are more than just ceremonies. They’re larger-than-life productions steeped in traditions, emotions and societal expectations. From keeping up with the Sharmas to chasing Instagram-worthy moments, the pressure to spend big can be overwhelming. But why do we spend so much?
Ah, weddings! The grand, glitzy spectacles that could rival even the most extravagant Bollywood sets. They’re not just events, they’re cultural milestones, family reunions and let’s be honest, full-blown productions. But have you ever stopped to think about why we spend so much on weddings? Why do people willingly drain their savings, max out Credit Cards or take loans, just to host an event that’s over in a matter of days? Let’s explore the fascinating emotional psychology behind wedding spending and how to balance those emotions with rational decision-making.
Keeping Up With The Sharmas
Weddings are less about two people getting married and more about how many people can leave the event whispering, “Wow, did you see that?”. From stunning venues and high-end designer attire to exquisite dessert menus boasting 15 delectable options, weddings have turned into a grand spectacle of social stature.
But here’s the thing: a lot of this spending isn’t even for the bride and groom. It’s for the guests, the extended family and even distant acquaintances. Somewhere deep down, many families feel the pressure to host a wedding that “measures up” to what society expects. Unfortunately, this can lead to overspending on unnecessary frills.
The Rational Choice: Ask yourself: Who are you really trying to impress? Focus on what matters to you as a couple, not the opinion of someone you haven’t seen since 2005.
Additional Reading: Personal Finance Fails (and How to Fix Them
The Dream Of A Lifetime
For many parents, their child’s wedding is the ultimate life event. After all, they’ve spent years saving for this moment and for some, it’s the culmination of their social aspirations. There’s an emotional attachment to making the wedding “perfect”, which often translates to big spending on everything from the venue to the videographer.
Parents often feel obligated to invite every possible relative, even the ones you don’t remember meeting. They want to tick every box, be it lavish ceremonies, gold jewellery or elaborate rituals. It’s not just a wedding; it’s the fruition of years of emotional (and financial) investment.
The Rational Choice: While respecting your parents’ feelings is important, have open conversations about priorities and budgets early on. Reframe the discussion to focus on meaningful experiences rather than expensive ones.
The “Main Character Moment”
Blame it on KJo if you want, but weddings are steeped in cinematic influences. From grand entries on elephants to choreographed sangeet dances, there’s an unspoken expectation to emulate the glamour of Bollywood. And let’s not even start on destination weddings in the majestic palaces of Rajasthan!
But here’s the catch: real life isn’t a movie set. Overspending on “the perfect Instagram moment” can leave you with post-wedding financial regret.
The Rational Choice: Prioritise experiences that are genuinely meaningful rather than photo-op driven. If a smaller, more intimate ceremony feels more “you”, go for it.
Because “It’s Once In A Lifetime”
Ah, the classic justification for splurging: “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime event”! And sure, getting married is (hopefully) a one-time affair. But this mindset can easily spiral into unchecked spending. Couples and families convince themselves that every little detail, whether it’s designer outfits, imported flowers or artisanal cake toppers, is a must-have.
The irony? Once the adrenaline rush fades, many couples barely remember the over-the-top elements they stressed over. Did anyone even notice that crystal-studded mandap?
The Rational Choice: Keep reminding yourself that memories aren’t built on extravagance, they’re built on meaningful moments. Channel your budget into areas that hold sentimental value.
The Hidden Costs Of “Pleasing Everyone”
Weddings are often marred by family drama. From conflicting opinions about the guest list to arguments over traditions, weddings can feel like a high-stakes emotional battlefield. And sometimes, money becomes the easiest way to resolve conflict. “Oh, your uncle feels slighted? Let’s just add an extra pre-wedding dinner”.
The desire to keep the peace can lead to overspending on appeasements, but this can stretch budgets to the breaking point.
The Rational Choice: Set boundaries. Remember, it’s your wedding. Politely but firmly prioritise decisions that make sense for the couple’s vision and financial reality.
The FOMO Factor
Wedding trends are constantly evolving and the rise of social media has amplified the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). Hashtags like #BigFatIndianWedding or #ShaadiGoals fuel the desire to keep up with the latest trends, from eco-friendly invites to drone photography.
While some trends are genuinely cool (hello, 360-degree video booths!), many are fleeting fads that lose relevance the moment the wedding is over. The pressure to “stay on-trend” can quickly inflate budgets unnecessarily.
The Rational Choice: Be trend-savvy but selective. Focus on timeless elements rather than trends that will feel dated in a year.
Spending Power Meets Social Pressure
With many modern couples earning well, there’s more disposable income to play with. But higher earnings often come with higher expectations, from themselves and their social circles. The temptation to splurge is real, especially when couples justify it as “investing in memories”.
But there’s a fine line between indulging and overindulging. Without careful planning, even dual-income couples can find themselves financially strained.
The Rational Choice: Treat your wedding budget like a business plan. Allocate funds strategically and stick to them, regardless of how tempting those “extras” might be.
The Pinterest Effect
Pinterest boards and Instagram feeds are both a blessing and a curse. They’re amazing for inspiration but can also lead to decision fatigue and budget bloat. It’s easy to get carried away with “just one more” idea, whether it’s a fireworks display, a signature cocktail or personalised wedding favours.
The Rational Choice: Keep your vision simple and cohesive. Remember, less is often more.
The Financial Hangover
Here’s the sobering truth: many couples regret overspending once the wedding is over. The debt, the financial strain or simply the realisation that they didn’t need half of what they paid for!
While it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of wedding planning, one crucial financial aspect often gets overlooked: the impact on your Credit Score. With so many wedding expenses, couples may be tempted to put large amounts on Credit Cards or even take out Personal Loans to cover the costs. While this can seem like a convenient solution, it’s important to remember that accumulating debt can significantly affect your score. A poor Credit Score can increase interest rates for future loans, whether it’s for a home, car, etc. Additionally, high credit utilisation and unpaid debts can lead to long-term financial stress.
The Rational Choice: Before swiping that card or taking out loans, create a realistic wedding budget and make sure you can comfortably pay off your debts. If you must use credit, aim to keep your utilisation below 30% of your limit and make payments promptly to avoid damaging your Credit Score. You’ll have a much healthier financial future to look forward to, long after the wedding bells have stopped ringing.
Additional Reading: Surprisingly Effective Strategies to Overcome Credit Card Debt
The Final Word
Weddings are emotional minefields. They’re steeped in love, family, tradition and let’s face it, emotional and financial turmoil. But by being aware of the psychological factors driving wedding spending, couples can make choices that honour both their hearts and their wallets.
So, the next time you’re tempted to splurge on those diamond-studded wedding invitations, ask yourself: Is this for us or for the ‘gram? Balance is the key, because a happy marriage is worth far more than a lavish wedding.